In the realm of grappling with complex issues, especially those entwined with the fabric of therapy and the intricacies of navigating reality, I’ve often found solace and clarity not in direct facts, but in the world of analogies, tales, and parables. It’s in these metaphorical landscapes that I unravel the nuances of right and wrong, seeking a deeper understanding of the intricacies of human emotions and relationships. Therefore, I use parables, stories and metaphors in my therapeutic endeavors quite generously. In this article, I present an account of one feedback from a client who struggled with self-compassion. I am thankful to my client for sharing their feedback with me that I edited to retain privacy. Here it is:
Recently, as I wrestled with the concept of extending kindness to those who had crossed me, a parable came to my aid. My therapist told me that it is an ancient tale that breathed life into an abstract notion and made it tangible.
The Parable of the King and the Traveler
In the heart of this narrative, there exists a king who, for a time, vacates his throne. In his absence, a traveler emerges on the scene, seemingly ordinary but destined for an extraordinary transformation. As the people in the kingdom experience negative emotions and act upon them, the traveler grows into a towering giant. I understood that as a manifestation of the collective negativity that permeates the kingdom.
The giant, fueled by resentment, anger, and discord, looms large over the land. However, a turning point arrives when the king returns. Instead of retaliating with wrath, he chooses a different path—a path of kindness. With each act of benevolence, the giant begins to shrink until, eventually, it diminishes entirely.
Understanding the Power of Kindness
This parable offered me a profound insight into the concept of kindness, particularly in the face of adversity. It illuminated the idea that kindness is not merely a virtue but a transformative force. It is quite capable of subduing the colossal negativity that can reside within and around us.
The notion that every act of kindness chips away at the monstrous manifestations of negative emotions struck a chord. It was a revelation that transcended the realm of theory and nestled into the practicality of everyday life. The simplicity of the parable made the concept of reducing the inner and outer monsters by extending kindness tangible and approachable.
Putting the Parable to the Test
Armed with this newfound understanding, I felt a compelling urge to put the parable to the test in my own life. The idea that kindness has the potential to shrink the colossal negativity—both within and outside ourselves—motivated me to experiment with this approach. And I experimented with acts of kindness towards myself. In therapy, I was guided to use small gestures that reflected kindness and compassion towards myself. I practiced forgiving myself, nurturing, and at times, pampering myself. I felt encouraged to focus on what I was, instead of what I was not; what I had, instead of what I did not have, and what I want, instead of what I did not want.
It became an invitation to not only understand the concept but to embody it, to be the king who chooses kindness over retaliation. The parable became a guide in navigating the complexities of human interactions, offering a roadmap to diminish the giant of negativity through the simple yet powerful act of extending kindness – first towards myself and then expanding it to others. In choosing kindness, I found that there was little or no space left for resentment, regret, blame, and shame. I was conquering fear and experiencing fulfillment in small doses, and it felt much more empowering than ever before.
Thus, the parable of the king and the traveler, in its simplicity, unveiled the transformative potential of kindness for my client, leaving them not just with a lesson but with an experiential understanding—a profound reminder that, even in the face of adversity, kindness has the power to shrink the giants that threaten our inner and outer landscapes.
Little Kindness goes a long way. It is as true for ourselves as it is for others.
Are you aware of ways in which you are unkind towards yourself?
